SOMEONE OUT THERE EITHER HAS WAY TOO MUCH TIME, OR IZ DEADLY AT SRABBLE!
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES – LET’S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z’S
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
Man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties
him to a chair. While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed the convict
gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
> > While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s
probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t
complain… do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!
wife responds: "He wasn’t kissing my neck! He was whispering in my ear!
He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any
Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love
story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a
year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every
way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one
thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty
years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone
else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to
me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for
me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome. She
told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and
couldn’t say a word. She said, "I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was
stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When
she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the
stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight
to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I
walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing
outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car."