So…after a very ugly year for me (2009), after a terrible start in 2010 (will this be like 2009 again…?!?), and after the balm that was watching the Vancouver Winter Olympics (not thank to the judges, but to Evgeni, Lambiel, Vonn and Martin, obviously
), I think I’m finally coming back to what really matters!
I’ve been trying to make up for lost time…of course, this implies that my internet-time has been reduced considerably (I had already given up on the internet – mainly MSN, this Space here, and replying to emails – but still, I was updating my Youtube channel, my Matos website, posting on Facebook and Orkut from time to time…). This means my online friendships are being let down…sorry, guys, nothing personal
– sure, eventually I get in touch with some, but others (like Tanja and Flávia, for instance – oh how I miss them!!) I haven’t talked to since last November!!!!
So, I’ve been reading like crazy since January, trying to catch up with the HUGE
mountain of paper that accumulated along last year. I managed to read around 15 books (meaning = 5 books each month – some of them were over 600 pages, though…hard stuff!), but still, this isn’t enough, as I’d probably have to keep up with this pace for at least another 6 months to read everything I should read before starting to write. Unfortunately, this is the real world and I don’t have 6 months…my deadline to deliver AT LEAST
one chapter ready is June 30th. However, my teacher has to read it long before that (to give me criticism), ANDDDD we also have the group studies and lectures (I’ll have to watch a lot of films – I have 15 to-watch films on my list! – and read Strindberg, Grespan and lots of other material that might even help me think, but that isn’t directly related to my research)!!!!!
Last week I started writing…I only wrote 5 pages, and they’re SOOOOO crappy that I decided to read some more!!!! LOL Today I read 100 pages of a 200-page book, which means it’ll be over tomorrow. Then the day after tomorrow I’ll separate the quotes from it – this book is so good that I’ll probably take 80% of it as quotes!!! hahahhahaha It’s called The three New Deals
, and it compares Roosevelt’s New Deal with Mussolini’s Fascism and Hitler’s Nazism. Just wonderful and enlightening reading, perfect!!!!!! I don’t know if I’ll manage to articulate what I’ve learnt from it in my thesis, but that’s another problem…
This is all just to say that I’m in very deep trouble until October, and I’ll have to cut internet time way more drastically from now on. Not that it’ll make a big difference to the world
, I’m just letting you know I didn’t die (at least not yet!!! My back and shoulders hurt like hell, I have headaches almost everyday, insomnia sometimes, nightmares other times, and tendinitis attacking everyday!!! I guess that when I decided to quit gym I made a bad call, don’t you think??
Meanwhile, what makes me go forward happily are my opiums, namely: watching Evgeni videos, listening to Andre’s (and other artists’) songs, and going to my Italian course, which is always very much fun!!!!!
Non parlo italiano ancora, però un giorno…!!!!!
Whoever is reading this, please wish me luck!
As Seal would say…"But we’re never gonna survive unless / We get a little crazy / No we’re never gonna survive unless / We are a little / Cray cray crazy"